Story of Successful Rejection

The target:

The Journal of Universal Rejection, featured in a wave of tweets, re-tweets, and re-tweet indiscretions circa January 26.

The mission:

100% guarantee of rejection. Can it be done? Am I seriously still judging what to send them? (Yes, she said, yes.)

The cover letter:

Dear Universal Rejection,

You may not remember me, but I have met you several times and we have many friends in common. Congratulations on starting a new journal, and I hope that your first round of submissions will be rejectable to your liking.

To that end, I just wrote you a short improv poem.

Thank you for your consistency,
Katie B. Booms

The response 
included the phrase “I like so much.” Yes. I am wonderful enough to be rejected.

Preferred press release:

As the greatest triumph yet in her publishing career, our own poet Katie Booms received a rejection from the Journal of Universal Rejection. Unfortunately, it was not particularly universal. (Nor is that possible.)

The best part! :
You can read a series of hilarious cover letters and editor replies at Because no is funnier when you know it’s coming. And when it’s in Latin.

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