cream of the cream

the opposite of wyoming?

this gawker article made us “lol.”  in a moment of questionable taste, and to keep the laughter train rolling, we decided to try this attitude on for size. below you’ll find excerpts from the columbia mfa prof’s actual email, followed by our own versions revised along wyo-state lines.

for the full/real article, check out yonder link ^
for our nonsense, you need only scroll down…

Subject: News from a different MFA planet

she says:
“My students also live and move and write in seventh heaven and in a fever of creative excitement. Columbia’s MFA is rigorous and competitive but students don’t just have publication as a goal – they take that for granted, since about half the graduating class has a book published or a publishing contract in hand by graduation – so they have their sights set on Pulitzers.”

we say:
“Students in Laramie live and eat and breathe and write and achieve bowel regularity in a wintry wonderland; the chill in the air does little to cool the fever of creative excitement burning in and around their loins. Wyoming’s MFA is rigorous and competitive but students don’t just have publication as a goal – they take that for granted, since all of their teachers have books.  Publishing is inevitable…. right? It’s only a matter of time… right?”

she says:
“And then there are all the peripheral pleasures of living on Manhattan: we’ve seen the Matisse exhibition at MOMA, have tickets for the opening of Don Pasquale at the Met Opera, have tickets to see Al Pacino on stage as Shylock in the Merchant of Venice, etc etc. Plus I’m just…3 minutes from Central Park where we join the joggers every morning. This is Cloud Nine living on the Upper West Side (which is known to my agent and my Norton editor, who live in Greenwich Village, as ‘Upstate Manhattan.’)”

we say:
“Of course, there are all the peripheral pleasures of living on Wyoming: the day hikes through hail storms, the time spent with the old DVD collection on a crisp day (front row seats to see Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro facing off in HEAT circa 1995), the Hispanic/Oriental foods section at Wal-Mart, the singular man who is Laramie’s homeless population wearing a sarong and using rocks (which he cleverly calls, ‘dinosaur teeth’) as a form of currency at the local bistro.  This is Cloud Nine living in South-Eastern Wyoming.”

she says:
“…the crackle of intellectual energy in the air is almost visible, like blue fire.”

we say:
“really? can we just take a minute to workshop that sentence?”

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